Finding Your Rhythm in New York
by Kerry Hopkins
New York has its own rhythm, which is fast, bold, and energetic. But beneath the city’s noise and hustle, there’s a quiet language of etiquette that keeps things moving. It’s not the old-fashioned kind of etiquette, it’s situational awareness. People don’t waste time here, so respect for pace is key: walk with intent, order with confidence, and keep the line moving. And when it comes to following up, do it fast as New Yorkers live on momentum. If you say you’ll email, email that night. If you promise to connect, mean it.
Meeting new people in New York has its own set of unwritten rules, too. People often say: “we should work together,” “we need your skills yes, send me an email” or “let’s grab coffee,” but those phrases can be more of a friendly nicety, than a firm plan. It’s not seen as rude here, it’s a cultural way for them to keep the door open. Even British expats in the city pick up that habit quickly, you’ll start to realise.
The real skill is learning to tell who’s serious. Clues? They follow up within a day, suggest specific times, or loop in an assistant. If they don’t, it’s just a polite brush-off. Don’t take it personally, it catches everyone out at first, just keep the energy moving toward the people who actually show up for you and don’t chase but keep your energy for something else that will bear fruit.
And when you’re out at events, read the room - or more precisely, read the feet. If two people are standing close, their toes facing each other, that’s a sign of a private or meaningful conversation. Interrupting is a faux pas. But if one or both have a foot turned slightly outward, it’s a signal the conversation’s not at crunch point which is your cue to slide in with a warm and confident “Hello, I’m new to New York…” and let the rhythm of the city do the rest.
Some have chosen not to use the subway yet, but pounding the New York streets is a delightful and enjoyable way to see the wonders of New York, keep fit and listen to all those wonderful American accents.
New York rewards boldness, but the smartest people know when to pause, observe, and play the rhythm right.
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Kerry Hopkins shares how mastering the city’s fast-paced, unspoken etiquette — from confident follow-ups to reading social cues — is key to success and connection NYC.